Coming this weekend,
Twelve packs from Zendikar block.
Washington Dee Cee!
In preparation,
a haiku challenge was made.
Here now, a triptych:
Hornet King Slaton
untaps lands with his elbows.
Relentless Hunter.
Master of Omnath,
Pee aitch Dee in combat math,
hits land drops for days.
He’s methodical:
primal beats in the old style
sometimes take a while.
Curves out Stalking Drone
into Scion Summoner,
Saddleback Lagac.
Later dropping bombs
in Rolling Thunder we trust
Lava Axe times four.
Gabe in the middle,
Reale the champion:
Community Cup.
Law practice requires
a mixture of white and black.
Everything is gray.
Cliffhaven Vampire,
I tell you with certainty,
will be in his deck.
Think about this fact:
He claims to study all day;
streams only at night.
I do not suggest
that dear Gabe is a vampire,
but it would make sense.
Regardless of his
taste in blood, he knows how to
tap them with the best.
Who is the beatdown?
It depends on where you sit.
Gabe prefers the throne.
I am also on
the team I think because I
will play the bad deck.
Can you untap with
a positive life total?
Sounds like a good plan.
They don’t teach this me
thod in school because you got
ta learn ta walk first.
Things that reward you
for doing things you enjoy
doing are good things.
Ping ping ping ping ping,
repeat until the game ends:
Essence Depleter.
Our team assembled
to take down the tournament.
Be sure to tune in.
Winning the grand prix:
three draft buddies from New York!
Film at eleven.
Carrie O’Hara is Editor-in-Chief of Hipsters of the Coast.