With the idea of improving our play a few of us Twenty Siders formed a Team Draft League. It’s not a real league, though. I’m not sure why. It’d be fucking awesome. We should have fixed teams, three players each, and a schedule. Holy shit why aren’t we doing this? Hugh? Hello? Luis? Someone! Make this happen.
Anyway, we started this with the idea of curating draft pods (things that can’t happen in a store because the DCI requires randomness or something—someone look that up and see if it’s true). If the pods are curated we’re more likely to have better drafting experiences. Playing Magic with your friends is more fun than playing Magic with not your friends. Building the decks as a team is sweet. You still have your picks but you get Monique, Chas, and Forker’s opinions on the deck you’re making (if you’re on their team, which I was). It’s so nice to talk to smart people about the pile of mess you just drafted.
Round One vs. Orlando
Sometimes you build a reasonable blue/black deck with a nice curve, some sweet flyers (fliers?), big dudes, ramp, etc. and then you play Orlando, a last minute fill-in player (some people couldn’t make it), who you happen to adore, and he’s playing a super aggro red/green deck with all the removal and fast, efficient guys.
The bastard kept a two lander, missed one or more land drops, and squashed me game one. I ran him over game two and was mana screwed game three. Orlando didn’t lose a match all night.
One of our games he talked to his daughter for half the time and still crushed me.
Round Two vs. Carrie
Then I beat the shit out of Carrie “Worst Deck I’ve Ever Made” O’Hara. Her face in this photo says it all.
Part one of my two part epic drama “Returned Centaur is Always Best When Targeting One’s Opponents Unless One has a Dedicated Graveyard Deck”. I hit Carrie with it and all of her good cards went to the graveyard (I think “all of her good cards” really meant “her Bident of Thassa“). More frowns from her. Every time I played a card she’d say “I can’t beat that.” It was rough.
Carrie beat Chas the following round due to both of them tilting, I think, but Chas tilting harder. Carrie is now writing every single week (HOORAY!) so I’m sure she’ll tell you who tilted when and harder on Thursday.
During my game with Carrie I drew a dick on the craft paper covering the table. Then I gave it a smiley face.
A fellow artist drew a chicken around it. I then drew a dick on the chicken (not featured). We entered the infinite.
Round Three vs. Kadar “My Best Friend” Brock
Game one Kadar played almost no cards after a mull to five. Being the douche that I am (though I’d say “hilarious, talented, and handsome fellow” and not “douche,” but whatever), I put my Whip of Erebos on the battlefield when Kadar was at four life or something. “Unnecessary,” he said. “I think if this were competitive you don’t play Whip because you don’t want me to know you have it.” Oops. He’s right, of course, it just didn’t matter and I wanted an overkill moment. I needed it.
Game two Kadar had a fist full of white cards and only blue and red mana. I figured it was time to perform part two of my two part epic drama “Returned Centaur is Always Best When Targeting One’s Opponents Unless One has a Dedicated Graveyard Deck” co-starring two Plains, one Sea God’s Revenge, and a God’s Willing. Sorry, Kadar. Our games were dumb.
Remember when Hunter and Dave-Bot had a big fight about Returned Centaur at a PTQ in Philly? Or maybe it was just on the road? I can’t remember. Someone wrote about it, or maybe they didn’t. It doesn’t matter. Whoever said milling yourself was a good call was wrong (unless you have a dedicated mill strategy). I’ll play the imaginary odds that I have in my heart which say “This card will fuck over your opponent 50% of the time every time.”
It was a joy playing team draft with these nerds in Forker’s studio. Look how good his art is! WOO!
This is what a team of two 0-3s, one 1-2, and one 3-0 look like.
This is what stone cold Magician killers look like. Forker has a foil Master O’ Waves and Chas got a foil Purphoros God of Red. Me and Monique got some cool shit, too. HOORAY! Look at Forker’s magnificent mustache! Remember when Chas had a creepy mustache? I do. It was creepy. Thanks for shaving it, Chas!
So, uh … what else? Oh there was some whining about the fact that we randomly chose seats for the draft and only after we drafted did we choose teams (also randomly). I’d done this with another group I draft with and it seemed like the way to go. There are pros and cons to both sides which I think are boring and I don’t want to go into here.
That’s it. Hopefully you’re reading this while Hugh or Luis are figuring out how to have an actual team drafting league somewhere, with consistency, standings, team names, and other awesome things. It’ll be like bowling but nerdier and less athletic and with no beer.
Later, kids. Thanks for reading!
Lots of love,
Matt
MTGO: The_Obliterator
Twitter: @Die_Obliterator
Artist, cheerleader. Matt started playing at the end of The Dark, hit his stride during Mirage block, and quit Magic after finding booze, drugs, and sex during freshman year of art school. In 2011 or 2012 Twenty Sided Store opened eight blocks from Matt’s apartment in Williamburg, Brooklyn. He kept his distance for a few months due to fear of the game’s power over him but eventually caved. Matt’s main MTG interests are Unhinged lands and constructed formats. Power and Toughness is his weekly summation/journal article and he writes an Arting Around article now and then, too.
UPDATE! Forker shot the finished double dick chicken drawing. ALL IS RIGHT IN THE UNIVERSE!!
