by Hugh Kramer, Grade 9
Like, I mean, you guys having fun in Theros yet or WHAT? Because I sure am. I went all Flintstones this weekend at the pre-release and had a gay old time. Seriously though, you guys get that reference right? We cool? Jeez. SO, with that in mind, I done went and played in two of them Sealeds them magical intellectual types are so fond of. Then I went and had me one of them Two-Headed Giants. Then I went to Sandals and had the time of my life, and I owed it all to you. You get that one too right? Still with me?
So, all kidding aside (just kidding) I gained some valuable insight into the format and am now prepared to make FIVE BOLD PREDICTIONS about how I think the format will turn out for limited play. The coming months shall either prove or disprove these five theories and turn me into freaking Nostradamus or bring shame upon me, my family, and my dog. So sit back, relax and prepare to agree, disagree, or not care, because honestly, I sure don’t (I totally do)!
Prediction #1: White-based heroic will be the best draft deck
White heroic did not impress me immensely in Sealed but in Draft, you’d better watch out cuz this bad boy is about to dominate the format. There is a lot of removal in this format, but most of it is conditional and/or expensive. Voltroning up your heroic one, two, or three-drop will quickly render a ton of the removal in this format useless against your onslaught of beaters. Good luck ever having the time to monstrous…ANYTHING. The White-weenie one, two, and three-drops are all insane and there are so many ways to push through damage in this format it’s not even fundiculous. Have you guys read Dauntless Onslaught? Okay, read it again. Now again. One more time? Okay, now that you know how many games it will win make sure you read it again just in case you forgot how many games it will win. I for one will be drafting Boros and Azorious every FNM until I am either forced to do otherwise, proven wrong with this prediction, or am cooking dinner that night.
Prediction #2: Gods are not great
Christopher Hitchens said “God is Not Great” but if he’d played Theros Limited he would’ve pluralized the “G-word.” As mediocre as I saw Gods being in Sealed I can only imagine they will be even worse in Draft, where they will simply be too slow, low-impact, and clunky. Obviously if the Gods maintain a reasonable price-tag you will be first-picking them at FNM regardless of whether they are good or not in Limited, but at any event with real stakes, I think it will become common knowledge that passing a God for any reasonable creature or removal spell will be correct. My girl Thassa, God of the Sea may end up being the exception to this rule due to her being the best of the bunch at the low-low price of three-mana, her ability to close out games without ever being a creature better than any of the other Gods, and her 5% fixed APR financing (I don’t actually know what that means).
Prediction #3: Voyage’s End will be the best removal spell
As previously stated when I said it previously, removal in this format is prevalent but situational and clunkahontus. After reading the full spoiler, Lightning Strike stood out to me preliminarily as the best removal spell and I think that is where people will go first. But after playing with Voyage’s End a bunch this weekend, I think it will end up being assessed as the best “removal spell” in the format when all is said and done. With so many auras and monstrous monsters the amount of time/tempo this card buys is IN-sane. I am so confident in this particular prediction that if I am proven wrong, I will go on national TV, apologize and donate my Jaces to charity. Haha kids, the joke’s on you, they’re Memory Adepts.
GET SCRAPED.
Prediction #4: Black will be the worst color EVER
This prediction doesn’t take rocket appliances to figure out. If removal in a set is bad, the color that is supposed to shine because its removal will not be good. I picked Black for my first sealed at the pre-re simply because I thought the promo was the best for Sealed (which I still think it was). However, “Heroic” and “monstrous” are the two best mechanics in the set, and Black relatively little to speak of either. Black’s commons also look to be pretty poor overall. Its creatures will just never be able to win the battle vs. Green’s monstrous behemoths or White’s voltron’d weenies and they’ll certainly never win the battle for…my heart.
Prediction #5: Horizon Chimera will be errata’d to have a 5th ability
Because flash, flying, trample, and 1-life a turn guaranteed aren’t enough.
That’s all I’ve got for today folks!
Am supes curio to see if anyone has had any similar thoughts and am looking forward to playing a lot more Henry David Theros.
Will my predictions hold up?
My prediction? MAYBE.
Thanks for reading!
– Hugh
World-renowned punster Hugh Kramer is also a skilled Limited Magician. He’ll share his thoughts on each format as it rears its ugly head, and continue his analysis well after the format fades into the darkness of rotation. Hugh was able to single handedly drive Matt Jones from the Limited format with his love of the Spider Spawning archetype in Innistrad Limited.